On the 4th of April 2018, I (Bro. Meerman) was installed as Worshipful Master of The Guildford Bassendean Lodge with those time honoured words used by all Installing Officers to a new WM, “OK, she’s all yours. Just try not to break anything.”
I had spent the 30 minutes prior to the ceremony panicking about:
- Being late (I had been rehearsing the charges with my eyes closed and didn’t notice the time).
- Realising that I had left my VSL at home.
- That the Inner Guard was running late and may not be there on time.
- That the Junior Deacon was running late and wasn’t answering his phone.
- That I might forget how to address the Right Worshipful Deputy Grand Master.
- That I might forget how to address the Most Eminent 1st Grand Principle.
- That I might forget to thank the organist.
- That I kept forgetting the last line of the Charity Steward charge.
- That I might forget a damn site more than that and end up making a fool of myself.
I quickly wrote the names of the RWDGM, MEFGP & the organist on a small piece of paper and stuffed it in my pocket so I could pull them out discretely when I needed. I also placed my program on the table beside the WM chair so that I would have it to keep track of what was going on. By the time the meeting started (sans the IG and JD) I looked calm and relaxed but was (in truth) simply mentally exhausted.
As the first Ode began, I realised that leaving my program in the East a stupid thing to do since I didn’t really know the words to most of the Odes. Luckily, no one was standing near me so I was able to use the standard technique of opening and closing my mouth like a stranded fish and just joining in on the bits that I knew.
Suddenly, I was WM and the time to draw out my note was near. Discretely, I slipped my hand into my trouser pocket but was completely unable to find it. Several minutes passed during which I repeatedly leaned to one side, stuck my hand in and out of my pocket and felt franticly about for the tiny slip of paper with the names on it. Occasionally, I would try to glance surreptitiously at the floor in case it had fallen out when I last pulled my hand out. This resulted in some curious looks from a few of the brethren. Finally, to my great relief, I managed to find it.
The investiture charges went reasonably well as I only forgot a few of the lines that I have been saying flawlessly to my steering wheel for at least a month.
The DGM stood up and spoke eloquently about how many of the brethren were looking quite old before beginning a dissertation on Chapter (in the process saying most of the things that the MEFGP had been waiting to say). The MEFGP then rose and congratulated the lodge members who were proudly wearing their Chapter jewels. He then, as you would expect, gave an excellent talk on the importance of the brethren continuing in their Masonic journey.
After the lodge was closed, the standared cerimony ensued wherby the new IG and JW turned and wispered to their more experianced brethren “What the hell do I do now!?”
Afterwards R.W. Bro. Kirwan comiserated… I mean congradulated me on my appointment.
However M.E. Comp. Whelan seemed to be more interested in sending a different message.
